Five uncomfortable and significant signs you don’t know who you are & you need to reinvent yourself NOW!
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You must have heard countless times that you should always look out for red flags when you are in a relationship. Signs that show you the other person in the relationship is not who they claim to be. Well, you are not alone.
But how often do you hear anyone talk about the signs to look out for in your personal life that shows that you are losing touch with yourself? Signs that tell you it’s time to take a pause and redefine who you are? Signs that signify it’s time for a fresh relationship with yourself!
One thing I know for sure is that it is cheaper to know yourself than to fix a broken self. Think about that for a minute.
I’ve often heard people say, “I didn’t know when things fell out of place within me, I just found myself here”. Well, that’s because you weren’t paying attention to the little cues that led to the trigger you are now experiencing.
But wait a minute! What are those uncomfortable signs to look out for? How do I know I am starting to lose myself or that I don’t even know who I am in the first place?
Good question!
In this blog, I’m going to share 5 (and maybe a bonus) signs that indicate you don’t know who you are. I believe this would give you a good perspective on what you are experiencing and prompts you to begin a new relationship with yourself.
Uncomfortable and significant signs you don’t know who you are!
5 significant signs you don’t know who you are.
1. You cannot make and don’t own your decisions
There is a big difference between being incapacitated to make decisions and being afraid to decide. As we grow older and mature, our experiences with parents, teachers, and peers should prepare us for independent adulthood, so when adult fears making decisions or don’t trust themselves enough to make the best decision… then something is wrong somewhere. Sometimes, it could be that you know or have an idea of what’s right for you, but you cannot bring yourself to object or confront the decisions made on your behalf.
Can you boldly say that most decisions you have made in your life so far were made with a full understanding of your responsibilities on the outcomes? Are you confident enough to make the best decisions for your own life? If any of the answers to either of these questions is NO, then it’s time to reinvent yourself!
2. You don’t enjoy staying alone.
If you cannot enjoy your own company, again check yourself, because no matter where you go, you are always going to be with yourself. You should be most comfortable when with yourself. You should be the one person you don’t lie to. You should enjoy relaxing and spending time with yourself. You should know the baggage you are carrying so you can understand how others can complement or help you. You cannot fully love and give to yourself or others if you do not know how much you have or have learned in your journey.
There is a popular belief that when you find someone alone, that person is probably worrying over an area of their life or they are just being weird, which is something I don’t agree with. Worrying is totally different from thinking but that’s a topic for another day.
What are you hiding from that is making you crave relationships? Why don’t you ever look within for what you are searching for externally?
3. You make repeated mistakes
Mistakes are a part of life, no doubt. However, there is a problem when you keep repeating old mistakes and keep running in circles like a hamster. Life is fully lived when you learn from your experiences and apply the wisdom to forge toward bigger and better accomplishments in the future. So, believe me when I say that making repeated mistakes is a sign you need to get to know yourself more and reinvent yourself.
For instance, you always find consistent patterns in your breakups, you always get the same treatment and disrespect from family and friends you care about, you are often ignored at work as if your opinions don’t count regardless of your role, and you realize you keep experiencing the same things repeatedly and you just feel like “what is wrong with me?” Honestly, what I’ve learned is that the issue is never your personality but how you see yourself, express, or communicate your personality that affects your decisions and how life plays out for you. If this is you, then it’s time for a fresh start.
4. You feel lost, stagnant, and empty.
Oh no! This is one of the not-so-great signs you have work to do within. I’ve experienced this in different phases of my life, but I remember the year 2013 as one that I felt the most stagnant and lost in my life. I had just graduated and had this expectation that life should be better than it was before, and I should access bigger levels faster than it had always been for me. Not only were things slow, but they also felt halted, and I couldn’t even place why (at the time).
My breakthrough came when I did a lot of inner work. Although it was tough for me to admit, I soon realized that I was digging in the wrong direction. I was looking for opportunities that didn’t suit my personality and potential, hence why I wasn’t getting any luck with anything. Ever since then, whenever I feel lost, stagnant, or empty, I know it is time to withdraw and reinvent myself. How do you feel right now? Is that what you want to feel? If not, click here to get personalized help.
Our goal at onherfreshstart.com is to help you get back up, redefine, and reinvent yourself. We have developed a dedicated coaching service to empower and encourage you on your fresh start. Find out more here!
5. You have low self-worth and self-esteem
You know… the number one issue for most women is lack of self-worth. Not seeing themselves the way God sees them but through the lens of people and things. If you do not know your potentials, gifts, and capabilities let alone believe in them, then you go around with a distorted view of yourself and that gives room for people or things to lay more claim to your sense of self. Everyone should take pride in who they are as an individual, so when you don’t feel deserving of the best things of life, then that’s a sign you need to spend more time knowing, rediscovering, and reinventing yourself.
BONUS- A Trigger
A trigger is anything that tips you off to do something or react in a certain way, most unexpectedly. This is like a prompt that causes an event or emotion to exist. E.g., divorce, loss, accident, big achievements, etc. Certain events happen to you and I that expose us to certain truths about who we are and could be a sign to embark on a new or deeper level of self-(re)discovery. A trigger could be a favorable or unfavorable life change, but it doesn’t leave you the same. Having my second child was a trigger for me at a time when I started ignoring my dreams. I just felt like if I don’t take action immediately, I would lose other parts of me that I love.
What are you experiencing at this moment or in this phase of your life? It could be a trigger.
“It is cheaper to know yourself than to fix a broken self.”
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